How To Grocery Shop Smarter

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If you know me personally or follow me on Instagram, you know that I cook for myself pretty frequently. Mostly on Sundays when I meal prep for the week. I find myself grocery shopping multiple times a week and I use to enjoy grocery shopping but since moving to New York City, the pleasure of walking up and down my favorite aisles has faded a bit.

Why you ask? Well, in a city with a population of over 8 million people, buying food sometimes feels like an athletic competition. In NYC I’ve experienced longer lines and checkout wait times. I’m talking long LONG… like wrapped around the store long.

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Live footage of the checkout line at the Whole Foods Union Square Location Pure Chaos!

Often times NYC grocery stores are smaller than the one’s I am used to from back home in Baltimore, so sometimes there is a shortage of inventory (especially in certain neighborhoods, but that’s for another blog post though! #foodequality). Over the years I have discovered a few NYC grocery shopping hacks that are sure to help you shop smarter no matter where you live but especially if you live in a busy city. On a quest to free all of us from the grocery shopping woes, here are 5 Tips On How To Grocery Shop Smarter In NYC

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Many consumers tend to shop in the evening (after work) or on weekends . are midday on weekends and between 4 p.m. and 6 p.m. on weekdays when most people are getting off of work. Shopping in a big city during these peak times can extend your shopping time and your lack of patience!

Shop Early. The early bird gets the worm and the eary shopper gets in an out of the store faster. Try getting to the grocery store shortly after it opens. This will increase your chances of getting access to the best inventory and to avoid those who are sleeping in late. Monday and Tuesday are good days to shop and to avoid the busy weekend crowd.

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Having a grocery list when you go shopping is not a new tip but I feel that it is one that needs reinforcing. Preparing a list before you get to the store helps you to stay focused on only the items you need which will help you to get in and out faster without wasting time. I use my iPhone Notes app to keep my list but you can also keep it old school and use paper and pen. You can create your list based on the meals you plan on making that week and also by refreshing pantry basics. Below is a sample of a regular list that I use.

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I suggest keeping a running list and adding to it before your trip or online shopping session. Shoplist or Anylist are great free grocery list apps

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Not having a car is a disadvantage when grocery shopping in NYC because you can only carry but so many bags on your person. Bringing a portable shopping cart or buddy is a helpful way to stock up on groceries and transport them home. If you don’t have a utility cart, I highly suggest that you bring a backpack which makes carrying heavier items more barable. The Large blue Ikea FRAKTA Shopping Bags also serve as great grocery transportation options because they are deep and can fit alot and the straps are perfect for throwing over your shoulder.

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There are several delivery services such as Instacart and PeaPod that will deliver your groceries right to your doorstep. Ordering your groceries from the comfort of your home helps you avoid the crowds and grocery story stress all together. I have used grocery delivery before and it is convenient however there are some cons. 1) You cannot hand select your own produce 2) Its slightly more expensive due to delivery fees and minimum order limitation 3) it’s a less experiential experience. There is something euphoric and cathardic about walking the aisles in the flesh! Also, check in with the managers of your local grocery store to see if they offer home delivery services

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Back in Baltimore we called getting an unofficial paid ride from a stranger a “Hack” but with the ever present and rising popularity of ride sharing services like Uber, Lyft and Via you can call a ride home from the grocery store within seconds. Catching a ride home gives you the opportunity to buy more groceries at one time so that you make less frequent weekly trips to the grocery store. This is really important in a big city because if you are like me, you do not own a car, catching a ride home really alleviates alot of stress from the grocery store trip

Songs That Saved My Life: Confidence Boosters

The Songs That Saved My Life Series is back ya’ll!!! I created this series back in 2017 when I relaunched my website as a forum for me to share the songs that have influenced my life and the lyrics that have helped me through my biggest triumphs and lowest downfalls. Each post has a theme. In the blog post I highlight the stand out lyrics from the song that embody the theme.

Be sure to check out Songs That Saved My Life Part I x Part II.

This edition of Songs That Saved My Life is all about songs that help instantly boost my confidence.

Even the most confident person needs a reminder that we are the bomb! A large part of self care is showing yourself some love…just because. Music is one of many ways for me to get that boost of confidence when I need it. Whether it’s because I am having a bad day or simply because I need to treat myself a bit more kind. I turn to these songs to remind myself that I am flawless and I totally woke up like this! Check out my suggestions below…What are your go to songs that make you feel amazing?

I leave you in love, peace, and style,

Lonnie

Check out my curated Spotify playlist so you can get all the way in the mood!

JUICE by Lizzo

Standout Lyrics

If I'm shining, everybody gonna shine (Yeah, I'm goals)
I was born like this, don't even gotta try (Now you know)
I’m like chardonnay, get better over time (So you know)

Beautiful Scars by Madonna

Standout Lyrics

Don't judge me, just gotta let me be
Accept me, although I'm incomplete
My imperfections make me unique that's my belief

I think you're confusing me with somebody else
I won't apologize for being myself


Flawless by Beyonce

Standout Lyrics

You wake up, flawless
Post up, flawless
Ride round in it, flawless
Flossin on that, flawless
This diamond, flawless
My diamond, flawless
This rock, flawless
My rock, flawless
I woke up like this
I woke up like this

I Like That by JAnelle MonAE

Standout Lyrics

A little crazy, little sexy, little cool
Little rough around the edges, but I keep it smooth
I'm always left of center and that's right where I belong
I'm the random minor note you hear in major songs

And I like that
I don't really give a fuck if I was just the only one
Who likes that
I never like to follow, follow all around, the chase is on

Fuck With Myself by Banks

Standout Lyrics

'Cause I fuck with myself more than anybody else
(it's all love)
I used to care what you think about me
(it's all love)
'Cause my love's so good
(So I fuck with myself more than anybody else)

Why Carlton Banks Wasn’t The Issue: How I Came Into Accepting My Black Identity

 
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“I have always been proud

to be black, never wanted to

be nothing else, loved everything about it”

The above quote is transcribed from the Tina Taught Me interlude featured on Solange’s album A Seat at The Table (2017).  As empowering as the above statement is to hear as a black man, I must admit that I cannot identify with it. Especially the part about always being proud to be black. Because well...I haven’t always been proud to be black.

BALTIMORE SHAPED HOW

I

SAW MYSELF AS A BLACK PERSON

I was born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland; a city with a population that is 63% African American (statisticalatlas.com). To add further socio-economic complexity, 22% of the population lives in poverty. With these two factors at play, it’s fair to say that the outlook on life for the average black poor or working class person like myself in Baltimore was often extremely limited. The only time I remember encountering a non-black person in real life was at school. There was the one white student in my high school and I had mostly white teachers. But for the most part my day to day experience was blackity black, black.

“I was really conflicted growing up around this idea of what blackness represented. I didn’t know if I should be proud to be black or wish that I wasn’t.”

From a young age I was exposed to bullying and in-group racial emotional abuse from my peers at school and in the neighborhoods I grew up in. This treatment led me to feel that who I was authentically was somehow not black or not black enough. Some examples included other black kids questioning by “blackness” based on how I dressed, acted, spoke or by what hobbies and interests I had. For instance in middle school I was really into pop music and I still am ( I mean Britney Spears is a goddess!!). There was a phase where I shopped for clothes at the GAP (which was not the brand on trend in Baltimore at the time). Ultimately, I was a young insecure teenager just trying to find my way, but it felt like I had no room to grow.

Britney Spears, 1999

Britney Spears, 1999

It didn’t take long for me to assume that being black was not an ideal race to be in America. I learned this lesson in school and from the media. I have always been invested in my education and naturally I excelled academically because I took school very seriously. While at school I was often teased for being “smart” or for liking school so much or told that excelling academically meant that I wanted to be white. That bullying eventually created resentment within myself towards the black community. And even tho I always have identified as black, I felt like I was different then the black people who treated me so poorly. To add further context, my mom has never boarded a plane and I did not have the luxury of going on family vacations growing up so I was pretty unaware of how any other place was outside of Baltimore. Many of the members of my community were drug dealers, criminals or bullies. The news tended to also highlight negative images of black folks in my communities.

CARLTON BANKS SYNDROME

Growing up I would look to tv and film for examples of positive black role models. In the late nineties, I instantly connected to fictional character Carlton Banks from the sitcom “ The Fresh Prince of Bel Air”. Carlton represented everything I wanted to be at the time. He was black but educated ,articulate, he had goals, he was well spoken and classy. I related to how Carlton often was misunderstood or how his blackness was often questioned by his cousin Will who grew up far from affluent Bel Air in west Philadelphia (born and raised (I know I’m not the only one who knows the these song verbatim. I wanted to be like Carlton and at the time I thought that was who I should want to be like. Carlton represented the “ideal black man” to me. Later I learned that, that perspective is so incorrect.


THE SHIFT: REPRESENTATION REALLY DOES MATTER

As I prepared for college, one of my main goals was to go to a predominantly white university. I told myself that I was ready for something “new” which at the time translated to “something white”. West Virginia University was my top college. Currently black/ african american students make up only 4.7% of the population (College Factual). WVU admitted me for the Spring semester instead of the Fall so I declined the offer and ended up at Towson University which is located right outside of Baltimore. TU’s black students makeup a little over 12% of the student population (College Factual).

Towson’s black community was pretty close knit but during my freshman year I broadened my horizons and made a couple of  white friends as well. While at college I learned that black people spanned a wide range of ways of being far beyond the small sample group that I experienced in my hometown. Now I was meeting black children from affluent families, I was meeting nerdy black people, from rural towns, Black people with diverse regional and international accents, black people obsessed with anime, gothic dressing black people with black nails, 1st generation immigrants from a myriad of african countries, I met black people who grew up in the church and those who grew up on the farm and everything black shade in between. My eyes began to open and I realized that it wasn’t that I hated black people or that I even hated being black, I just had not been exposed to the diversity within the black community as a whole. So this my friends is why the every so popular and honestly overly used phrase “ representation matters” really matters lol

WHERE AM I TODAY?

Today I am a proud black man. I have learned many lessons about the problematic ways that I used to think about myself as a black man and closed some of those cultural and historical gaps and replaced them with educated viewpoints. I understand that all black lives matter. I know that Michelle Obama is not better than Cardi B and that there is room for all of us. All of us matter and all forms of blackness are valid.I no longer allow others to police my blackness. There are still times when I am not 100% comfortable in all black spaces however that is a preference, not a judgement. I know that blackness cannot be defined by one characteristic, personality type or way of being. Blackness is broad and infinite.

“I have had to grow into embracing and celebrating my black identity. It has been a process that has been informed by all forms of education including reading, meeting people and a whole lot of self reflection.
”

Relating to Carlton Banks was never the issue, wanting to be him, because he represented an ideal black man was an issue and I am glad that I can now sing “it’s not unusual to loved by anyone” in peace.


Hairstory 101: Length Checks, Reality Checks and Product Specs

There I was standing in the mirror with a young, untamed, un even afro staring back at me. In my head I’m thinking “how did I get here?... my scalp itches I don’t know how to style this mess”. In that moment I was regretting letting my hair grow past the length of a low cut caesar with the deep waves!

That was back in 2015 when I decided to experiment with growing my hair out.  Since then I’ve cut it down low twice but finally in 2016 I re-committed to growing it out again and I want to take you on the journey with me. Before I started the hair growth process I had no idea how challenging it would be to manage longer hair. All of a sudden I needed to pay more attention to hair products and maintenance. No longer could I brush my hair on the way out of the door and look polished and put together. Back in 2015/2016 I didn’t know how to properly care for my hair so when it started to itch or become unmanageable, my solution was to cut it short again. Now I know better so I’m doing better lol

PEEP SOME OF MY FAV

STYLES FROM 2015 - 2017

My hair journey took a turn for the best on Christmas 2016 because one of my best friends Ashley gifted me a  5 PIECE SNACK PACK by Oyin Handmade. The snack pack included sample size containers of a range of Oyin hair and skin products. During the next few weeks after Christmas I began to try each product on my hair and I was pleasantly surprised with the results! Since then I have incorporated Oyin products into my haircare routine and realized that having long hair can be manageable as long as I used  products that were natural and compatible with my hair type THANKS ASH!


“ THE SECRET IS

THERE IS NO SECRET”

For those who are just  starting your natural hair growth journey I want to let you in on a little secret… are you ready?...There is no secret… Having African American natural hair is a honor but it is also a daily emotional roller coaster ride. There is an ugly trial and error phase that we all must go through. This is the time frame when your are experimenting with products to find the right one for you while your hair is growing wild. This phase can take days or even years for some people. But you have to go through it in order to find out what works best for your hair.

Fantasia sings ”sometimes you have to lose to win again” in her song “Lose to Win”.  She was referring to romantic relationships but that lesson applies to your relationship with your hair too! Finding the right hair care groove means more losses than wins (especially early on) ! You have to be willing for your hair to look or feel “crazy” or “wrong” until you find out what works for you.  This is especially true for those used to relaxed styles or your hair meeting European beauty standards.

PRODUCTS I USE ON WASH DAY


Below I’ve listed the products I’m using currently and the order in which I use them on wash day. I will share my styling products in a future post. I hope that these product suggestions help you and that this post gives you some hope if you’re fed up and ready to do a big chop lol. I am always open to new product suggestions, List them below so we can all glow up!


Step 1: Shampoo

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Getting your hair nice and clean on wash day is important. I wash my hair about every 2 weeks. Most recently I have been using Creme Of Nature Argan Oil Moisture & Shine Shampoo. It smells wonderful, the argan oil is moisturizing and most importantly it’s silfate free so it doesn't dry my hair out

Step 2: Co-wash

Co-washing is short for “conditioner-only washing.” It means skipping shampoo and relying solely on conditioner however I found that co-washing alone doesn’t work for me  so I co-wash after shampooing. I use the GINGER MINT CO-WASH by Oyin Handmade and baby this stuff is so refreshing to the scalp and smells like a ginger dream.


Step 3: Condition

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After shampooing, I replenish my hair with a nourishing conditiner. Currently I am using Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Shine Conditioner and it does the trick! Not my favorite conditioner but it totally does the job.




Step 4: Deep Condition

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Finally, I deep condition with Creme of Nature Intensive Conditioning Treatment with  Argan Oil. This adds another level of nourishment and helps restore any damage and hets my hair ready for styling.

Peep my progress: Check my best hair looks of 2018